Guess where I'm off to...

I think voting is boring and I don't want to do it.

On the other hand, I don't fancy the prospect of racist lunatics representing me in Europe (or anywhere else) this year. True, the mainstream parties are a bunch of money-grabbing, blood-sucking, free-loading parasites. But even so, I will be getting off my lazy arse and strolling down to the polls. 

My grandad went through several years of hell in the 1940's. And I think it would be a shame if, having fought a World War to get the Nazis out of Europe, we let them sneak back in just because some MPs stole our money to pay for porn and moats.

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UKIP are complaining of foul-play in today's election. Apparently, those fiendish volunteers at the polls have been foxing UKIP voters by folding the ballot papers in half!

This has prevented all those idiots who would have voted UKIP - but were too dumb to actually unfold the ballot paper - from exercising their democratic right to plunge us all into right-wing darkness.

Unfortunately, parties are listed alphabetically, so the BNP is right there at the top, meaning that their voters are spared the Krypton Factor style challenge of having to unfold anything.

So please go and vote. Preferably for someone who doesn't deny the Holocaust.

Have a good day.

Sam x

Sam Brady Stand-up Comedian